to Ocado who forgot to deliver the Macaroni - had to have Penne with our cheese and bacon
oh and how did Ocado manage to translate 2 bags of ice cubes into 5 bags?
First World problems. Iām gutted for you 
Besides, buying ice cubesā¦
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Theyāre Waitrose ones so probably made from comet ice, direct from the Kuiper belt.
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we used to have a plumbed in ice machine that a mate gave me who was dismembering a bar, but that blew up
Ffs, get some moulds and use the freezer?
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No space left, what with all the hitchhiker corpses ānā all.
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we did for while but couldnāt make it quick enough for the amount we useā¦
Is there an athlete alive today who doesnāt have asthma?
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Not many elite cyclists apparently.
I guess you wouldnāt understand excercise induced asthma. 
Havenāt you got some jam to eat?
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People still driving like thereās 3 feet of snow today, where as infact itās just wetā¦
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Iām thinking about buying a Yamaha wireless speaker for the bed-room. CP to the WTF reviewer for commenting that it ātimes wellā. What a cock.
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If you want something for the bedroom that times well, how about an alarm clock?
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CP for reading What HiFi.
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Ā£6000 hampers can have one.
https://www.fortnumandmason.com/products/the-imperial-hamper
Just done a quick totting up. There are 72 items in said hamper, at an average of Ā£83.33 per item. Including gems such as āChristmas Nut Selectionā, āBiscuitsā, a āChefās Hatā and some more āBiscuitsā.
Oddly no mention of the car or the pair of business-class return tickets to New York that the hamper obviously contains.
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āPresented in a suite of Fortnumās wickersā
If they are 2-bedroom wickers with a garage and outdoor entertaining area, then six grand is reasonable.
The Krankies & Barrowman,. WTF were they thinking?!
During the show, she said, Barrowman fondled co-star Janette Krankieās breasts, and also invited audience members to chant āAlice loves Dickā.
Among the moments she took issue with was one where Wee Jimmy Krankie, played by Janette Krankie, poked her finger out of her trousers, emulating a penis
No need for inflicting that on the general publicā¦