When tabloid headlines are composed by AI
Itâll be closed after the first stabbing
Lord Boots would have a field day in that 
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I suppose this is only ânewsâ to me, but today I learn that what other regions call âclampsâ, Spalding used to call âgravesâ 
Characteristically morbid humour / best tates Iâve ever had, thoâ no-one stores 'em this way any more.
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Boston did too (fifty years ago, at least). Basically you want to leave the spuds in the ground until you need them but thereâs no need for them to take up the entire field, which you can use for growing something else - brassicas, probably.
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Locals getting in a flap about a heavy duty duck:
The Meatman of the avian worldâŚ
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why in heavenâs name did I spend nine months in Stratford-upon-Avon?'"
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Shame to have to get the Old Bill involved. But needs must
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Makes a change from them swanning about.
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Always sticking their beaks in where theyâre not wanted
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Meanwhile in Stratford:
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#accidentalpartridge
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