Buffet or bust - Opinion sought


I went to wedding in deepest darkest Cornwall last year and at the buffet reception they had a table full of ( decent ) Large hot pasties ! Not cocktail , LARGE! Being able to pile ones plate so high with only Pasties where you can barely see over it is the way to go.


There’s nothing inherently wrong with the notion of a buffet, indeed there are a number of advantages. The trouble is that the implementation is almost universally shit. Like literal, actual shit might as well be smeared across the table it’s that unappealing.

I think the biggest problem stems from the purchase of ready made entries from supermarkets. Pre-done supermarket fodder (pork pies, pasties, cocktail sausages etc) is where the taste buds go to die. Might as well eat some greasy wallpaper paste.


Small yet clammy & barely cooked chicken drumsticks ftw.


Think we should make next years lopwell a bring your own buffet 70s dress theme weekend


Schumann hedgehog headgear.




I have a suspicion this is a table of life size pasties = not a buffet.


Warren’s pasties?


Apparently we are all dicks and I don’t know fuck all. Mrs Mws keeps her version of Occam’s razor sharp


Your Nan’s is the definitive adjudication on the buffet dilemma.


x4 mini gherkins to cover 8 suffering family members. A pile of mash potato, boiled potato and crisps. A side bowl of gone off peanuts from last year and a tomato lovingly carved in the shape of labia which caused some mirth until it was extinguished with a clip round the ear and said ‘Rose’ carved tomato being binned whist screaming “On the baby Jebus’s birthday as well! - Forgive the ingrates they don’t know they’re born.”.


They were pretty decent so probably not.


Love this band- their second album ‘Room temperature shellfish shits’ was especially enjoyable.


It’s worth trying a blind tasting of this kind of thing. It’s where you realise that they all are identical in terms of both taste and texture. No matter what pastry, what meat, they are all exactly the same. Soylent Beige.


Yup. It’s doubly frustrating because almost all of those things, when done well, are stunning. Scotch eggs, pork pies, sausage rolls are all food of the gods.


Our local butcher sells a large diameter (mostly meat) sausage roll called ‘the clogger’. I’ll pick one up & post a pic. Wouldn’t take many of them to collapse a buffet table.


This idea of ‘Social’ ‘Fun’ food defecates on decency. Fuck you party food!



The Cornish pastie was invented in Plymouth first according to historical records.


Guy , is that the butchers in the Main Street ?