It’s not a bad life is it?
11 Likes
Me - filthy cold and headache but dog needs a walk, horrible drizzly rain and a sideways wind 
Dog - ooh lab 500m away I’ll go and say hello
Me - I’ll give him 5 as he comes back on his own
Other dog owner - I’ll just keep merrily walking in the opposite direction
Me - check tracker - your dog is 800m away
Me - finally catch up after 10 min and now feeling like puking
Me - you could have stopped as you must have heard me shouting
Twat - he’s your dog
Me - well that’s incredibly arrogant, you know he’s a puppy as you’ve seen him loads of times. I always walk another dog back to the owner if he’s not going back, it’s just courtesy
Twat - it’s not my job to train your dog
Me - you utter prick
Now this is one of those posh cunty farmers round here with a stupid long walking stick so he takes a step forward and raises it.
Me - put that stick down and and if you raise it again I’m going to defend myself by shoving it sideways up your fucking arse
I fucking hate people.
12 Likes
She’s gorgeous and she knows it 
2 Likes
Pretending to be asleep while hatching plan for meat theft
3 Likes
Voice of experience… 
(same)
2 Likes
Probably trying to hide the latest hole he’s dug in the fucking garden.
4 Likes
A friend’s cat was caught reversing out of the neighbours kitchen window with a very hot chicken!
3 Likes
Speak to @edd9000 about dog landscaping skills.
When I lived in Barnard Castle we had a tomcat called Beamish who used to bring random stuff home - inc. a big slice of raw swede, a massive lump of moss and ~1kg of still-warm boiled gammon
6 Likes
1 out of 3 ain’t bad
1 Like
It didn’t go to waste…
He’s a lucky lad!
1 Like