Listen… I can’t stand around chatting all day … I have painting to do and a marriage to save.
Going to paint the skirting first and the coving last. 
Top to bottom.Always work with gravity whilst painting.
You know you want to 
And make sure you’ve added loads of water for that ceiling miss coat,and don’t dick about with dust sheets.
I’ve borrowed some stilts from the plasterer to do the ceiling. 
Avoids having to climb up and down ladders to refill my brush. Pot in one hand brush in other.
What could go wrong…
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That’s how to get into a ladies changing room
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You could try running as fast as you can shouting ‘I am the speed of light’
N.B: This is for advanced ‘mid weekers’ only
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I want a dark coloured ceiling .
Wank!
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I don’t think pewter is luxurious.
Well, I had a quote in, seems a tad superfluous to this thread now
Foiund a plasterer who will replace the ceiling under the flat roof for £100 all in. He now has a load of other plastering jobs around the house, he’s my bestest friend now.
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Stu, a priming coat of paint before the top coats is called a mist coat 
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Not when you apply the paint with a lawn mower it’s not.
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Or if you aim well