Fucking trousers

As a larger boned gentleman, alright fat cunt, I tend to frequent specialty online clothing emporiums (mind out of the gutter penance) such as twatamo to buy clothes. Having lost a bit of weight (but still being elephantine in my hugeness) a few weeks ago I decided to buy some new trousers from the aforementioned twatamo.

What is it with trousers these days, skinny this, stretch that? Being a chubber, every day is leg day for me just getting off the sofa is like deadlifting 100 kilos so the one part of my body that has any sort of musculature are my thighs and calves, not overly so in my opinion though. I used to be able to buy jeans, cargos and chinos that actually fit, they hung nicely, they allowed my sack to breathe. Nowadays it’s like slipping into a pair of penances special pvc trousers without the aid of talc or olive oil. Yes they stretch a bit but they are fucking uncomfortable and make me look like a partially hatched chicken, legs sticking out the bottom of an egg.
All in the name of hipster fashion, fuck hipster fashion, I’m nearing 50 I don;t want to look like a lumberjack that sprayed paint on his legs.
Cunts.

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Year round baggy shorts :+1:

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For jeans dickies and Levi’s do a tall/athletic fit that usually works for me. Chinos I end up buying while in Florida in big and tall sections of the department stores.

Wool/suit trousers I have to buy a 48 and have the waist tailored down to a 40-42 so I can get my thighs in.

Thought @Rob998 was the postie…

In any case, the Mantaray range of jeans/combats from Debenhams have more than stick insect room. For work troos, M&S are old fashioned enough to have some with pleats.

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Yes I have some jogging bottom type shorts which are the height of comfort, which while knocking round the house are fine, however on the rare occasions I venture outside I’d like to not freeze a nad off and thus they suddenly become a poor option at this time of year. March to October I tend to be in shorts, december to feb it’s tricky.

Used to buy mantaray all the time, stopped when one wash of their shirts turned them into belly tops. Looked at them a few weeks ago and they were still making tshirts that traded girth for length - shut it penance.
Also found their jeans to be monumentally heavy and not that good a fit for me.
Jeans I think i have sorted now, Joe Browns do some nice ones that aren’t tight but also have a bit of stretch in them.
I’ll check out dickies, I have some 501’s which are ok but the waist came up a small 40 so I can’t do them up yet.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

I think it’s the 541 fit on the Levi’s.

T shirts I buy in the states, Xxl tall from gildan or similar.

I find buying trousers online fucking annoying, they never fit right. Finally when you get some that are mostly OK you notice they have a button fly or something equally loathsome

Being a 28 x 32 leg i find it quite easy

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It’s party season

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Being short and fat of leg I find that the roomiest Gap jeans have the required girth for my manly buttocks and thighs without the horrible skinny leg look.

Normally wear a 40/42 waist 36 leg, I have given up trying to find them in stores.

Spandex

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501s or a pair from Meyer. The high street self branded stuff is a tad shite.

Tommy Hilfiger jeans for me, Cheshire Oaks and half price for 38 inch waist 33 leg.

Go to an actual shop, you can try things on then and not come away with things that don’t fit. :+1:

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If only it was that simple.

I have never bought trousers off the peg (in this country) that fit. Without fail they need altering, which i accept.

I buy jeans in the US when I’m there and stock pile them, currently have about 6 pairs of new jeans in bags so ok for a few years.

I have enough trouble at 6’4” it must be a nightmare, though my main issue is being tall and a fat bastard.

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Gucci £3420