Lol, I bet you have been volunteered to make all the backdrop scenery for this year’s village am dram production.
The good thing is she lives in my beloved Edinburgh.
There is still mileage in this… may try and get my van washed 
Not if they have seen my plumbers efforts at replacing floorboards and noggins.
I have heard a blow job called many things…
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Prepare the van, this sounds like a job for Bucket-Man!!!
Sorry, didn’t mean to offend, just can’t see much ‘mileage’ in actually getting the van cleaned, thought it must be a euphemism.
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Off course didn’t take offence!!
Was just slightly shocked at myself as of all the tasks that I could have opted for, my van getting washed was the most exciting, coupled with practicality.
Also the most likely.
Now, calling a couple of other golfists and sneaking a cheeky 9 holes I could see being fun.
Get you, Randy Ritchie 
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Come now Gentleman, this is not The Art of Smut
Of course…it is just possible that I was given the sandwich out of love. As ridiculous as it sounds.
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You’re right, you have been married a long time 
18 years? - meh they’re still getting to know eachother. It’s our 30th soon…
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Okay then, long enough to prefer washing your van to a blowjob.
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Hope she will be pleased with the new phono stage , very thoughtful of you 
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It is worse than that. A 70’s themed fancy dress 40th birthday party.
See cockpunching thread.
prog rock anyone?
Only if you want to beat this