I've Properly Fucked It

Going to be running a kitchen out of a shipping container for the summer, in the grounds of the local ruined castle. Got the call last night that my tender had won.

Financial destitution arriving in 3, 2, 1…

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I thought you meant the forum…

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Well I’m sure your wholehearted commitment and cheerful optimism will make a roaring success of it… :joy:

Seriously: bonne chance! :+1:

The commitment is genuinely wholehearted, it’s just a degree of paranoia that despite all efforts, no one will turn up. The fact that it got voted through a committee is at least reassuring, but the French can be funny fuckers when it comes to Brits cooking food.

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Not too late for a change of name, call yourself ‘Jacques Gitanes’ or summat?

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A stripey top, stick on ‘tach and some onions and you’ ll be fiiiiine. :grin:

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‘Marco Pierre Whiteflag’…

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Wear a Michelin Man outfit and double the prices, that should impress them.

As my Nan used to say: “If you don’t like it you can always set fire to it.”

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and is why she’s currently doing a 10 stretch in Belmarsh for insurance fraud

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Not so. Her last job was managing / cooking in a cafe, it curiously burned down after 2 days. She was thankfully insured and went on to sue the establishment for a faulty fryer (for which she was handsomely compensated). I’m not sure the Womens institute were too happy about that though.

Can you make any money out of this before the French start complaining and vomiting?

Dunt forget to offer a pensioners option, but make it 67 plus. That’ll do the trick:)

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Introduce them to great British delicacies, like reheated morning after kebab or deep fried Mars Bar.
They’ll love it.

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Eggciting Thymes !

Good on ya , hope it all goes well, what castle ?

…and does it have a dungeon?

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There is a flat section where those trees on the right are, that’s where the restaurant will be.

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?

Yup … what that view needs is a shipping container :grin:.

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