I’ve done all my maths and thinking about HOW to provide my own car… Thank you for the help, it genuinely was a helpful thread.
I’m now deciding which car. This is the bit where you all get to recommend Volvos even though Volvos are shit.
I’ve been using this firm for years. Very reliable. I also have a call to make to Clap’s friend… but let’s say I’m going with these guys, just to narrow it down my current choices would be:
This:
Or This:
Which would you choose and why?
I’d go for the Jag, obvs.
They have a Jag, it was very poor compared to those two in terms of interior comfort, spec and also it was white, which is not the colour cars should be.
Porsche Panamera.
But in all seriousness, the BMW. Mercs are horrible rubbery things to drive.
The only Porsche I like*
*fit in
BMW every time for me. On like-for-like models they are always a generation and a half ahead of everyone else on economy, performance, emissions.
The auto-box is absolutely amazing, and they are still the best barge for handling and drive.
Absolutely terrible in the snow but the winter tyres you’ll be buying will solve that 
£25k will buy you a nice one.
That ZF 8 speed box is amazing. As good as the DCT they fit to the M cars, IMO.
Overpriced German ‘me too’ tat 
Obvs what you should have bought is one of these… (cue repetitive whining from SUV haters) with the semi auto box.
They are both pretty awful. The 520d is cramped, uncomfortable, heavy, slow, nasty to drive and not very economical. The Mercedes is a bit more comfortable, but even worse to drive. The Audi A6 is worse than either.
If you MUST buy German (and some people must) go for a better engine, not a shitty little 4-pot diesel. Otherwise buy a Jag XF.
I think that the BMW is probably the best car in most respects - as Mark describes. However, the Merc may be more plush and comfortable to be in. If your miles are often tired motorway miles, you might want that comfort rather than a “driver’s” car.
Cramped, awful to drive and slow… great advice.
The BMW is spacious as is the Merc, having sat in all three I know the Jag is tiny, and nasty to sit in compared to he other two. The Beemer has 190bhp, it won’t be slow.
0-60 in 7.7s, 70mpg on the autobahn
Yep, Volvo for me too 
But it weighs about 6 tons… I had one as a hire car recently, hated it. That 4-cylinder engine is as rough and noisy as can be, and it needs constant gearchanges to keep it in the narrow powerband. So the autobox is constantly shifting, which upsets the handling in the twisty bits and makes it feel jerky. Real world economy was about 30-35 mpg.
We had 9 people on a business trip, ended up with 4 in the beemer and 5 in a Ford Focus, cos it was roomier!
Powerband? I’m driving to Kent and back, not lapping the Nurburgring?
bimmer.
Or a Mondeo, a mk3 one in dark blue.