Judgement / disgust a revived thread form 2019 - Things are shaping up nicely.
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Hestonâs still on the beach, he hasnât even started dreaming up the hideous confection of flavours heâs planning to inflict on Waitrose and M&S customers this coming season. Cactus, fermented reindeer penis and coal are the front runners. Go Heston!
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The shaman is ahead of the game as ever
Ah the conformists have start whining early this year. Preemptive strike ftw 
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If youâre on the lash they have to be microwaved on full power for at least seven minutes and eaten with apparently no ill effects only to wake up with 2nd degree burns around the lips and mouth.
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Get to feck with that sort of behaviour. Youâll be touting pineapple and mushroom on pizza next.
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đŤ¨
Donât we have enough horrors?
We havenât heard from you. Did you make it after your late night early mince pie experience?
Weâre waiting patiently for a review- which really should be written as soon as possible! 
âŚSat up till past midnight poised for an episode of ungovernable fury. Fuck all, I got fuck all, not a crumb. I for one would like our flame haired keeper of the flange to explain himself AND the lack of pie review.
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You also have to forget to take them out of the little foil cases first. Perhaps the resulting firework display accounts for Stuartâs absence this morning ? Then again it shouldnât have been anything that a man familiar with using a blowtorch in a confined space couldnât handle.
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Due to heavy to industrial level overclag?
I was going to write a review last night, but was met with such debilitating disappointment that it even penetrated my advanced state of refreshment.
Such disappointment has only been experienced once before when I met @thebiglebowski for the first time.
Straight out the box these fuckers are at you.
Keen eyed meatmen will note no single use plastic wrapper to ensure freshness. These are open to the elements and as a consequence likely pumped full of preservatives. Gash.
Secondly, no dusting. Especially crushing as ypu can clearly see on the artists impression on the box, dusting is being promised. Double gash.
What about the dimensions?
Average.
Donât be drawn in by the succulence of the filling or indeed the lack of air. The pastry instantly turns into a powdery hydrophyllic dust on contact with saliva and quickly turns your mouth drier than a camelâs tit. It was at this point I breathed some in and thought âthis is it, this is how Iâll be found in the morningâ.
Death delivered by lack of clag.
Three gashes from me.
Avoid.
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The pencil pointing out where dusting should occur is a nice touch
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Dusting is being âsuggestedâ. Bastards.
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There is also the Jebus-Dichotomy at play here.
The fuckers are clearly hinting at Christmas on the cover but not actually confident enough to stand their ground as proud non-conformists.
No, they just use poorly rendered spheres in merry colours to portray true baubles⌠but, and it is an irksome but, they are more than happy to address their pie with a Christmas tree.
Fuck you Sainsburyâs, youâve left a nasty taste in my mouth.
Figuratively and literally.
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Fuck this, Iâm all about flapjacks now.
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Still, nice that theyâve gone to the trouble of discouraging you from selling your apartment.
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This is their sole redeeming feature!
The Devilâs Dandruff is to be deplored everywhere it is found! 
Oâerall - an excellent review, but you canât say you werenât warnedâŚ
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It is all about a kebab after the quench you utter nugget.
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Or maybe a curry.
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