Anyone who thinks you can have the words Budweiser and gourmet in the same phrase requires an instant delivery of an angry mob with pitchforks to their door.
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Who should be given the task of trying Heston services cheese mince pies?
Donāt wonāt to skew the poll,but I think the person who went far to early might be an ideal candidate
- A touch of cloth
- Touch of cloth
- Someone from the north east
- Mr touch of cloth
0 voters
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When you say someone from the north east, @pmac specifically moved somewhere at least three ferry crossings away from rubbish like that.
Was thinking more of someone who currently resides there. Canāt say anymore as it maybe seen as bias
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Now hereās a thingā¦I see no issue with stuff being mince pie flavoured. In fact, I remember a very good session a few years ago supping an ale that tasted distinctly mince pie like.
Itās flattery.
Calling an abomination of non-traditional ingredients a mince pie should be punishable by being torn apart by monkeys.
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I hear rumours that Stronzetto has lost the plot in a Heston Wankenstall induced fit of rage and taken matters into his own hands paws.
I understand that the picture is to form the front page of the Daily Fascist Bigot Mail tomorrowā¦
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So, tonight, showdown time - mid-tier Waitrose vs. Sparās finestā¦
Appearance: Waitrose loses a point for a machine-made look; Spar gains with more of a hand-forged appearance.
Packaging: Waitrose gain for just a carboard box, recyclable plastic tray and aluminium cases; Spar loses for having all that plus a non-recyclable plastic bag due to the bikini-clad pies and their crotchless box.
Aroma: Effortless win for Spar - lovely fruity, boozy whiff that has the taste-buds standing to attention, best brandy aroma Iāve ever had from shop-bought. Waitrose - not bad, heavy butyric buttery hit with a backnote of biscuit that obscures the fruit within until you chomp.
Texture: Waitrose just barely noses ahead - both have a pleasant borderline biscuity crumble to the pastry, but Waitrose has more sense of structure to the mince; Sparās mince is unctuous, almost sticky, but a bit soft and homogenous.
Satanās Dandruff - AKA granulated sugar - makes its accursed appearance atop Waitroseā efforts, thankfully not so with Spar.
Mouthfeel: Spar ahead - despite the gloopās lack of texture it has a nice pungent moistness which gets the saliva flowing, and the generous filling-to-pastry ratio really helps. Waitroseās generously buttery pastry is nice, but clags in the mouth due to its over-generous quantity - the lid is quite thick, and the filling a mite stingy and lacking astringency, causing the saliva glands to get a bit bogged-down.
Taste: Effortless win for Spar, the balance of pastry to filling is great and both items taste good and contrast well, the Brandy and Port are easily discerned, there is pleasing astringency, and somehow there is a genuine sense of alcohol being present even though there presumably canāt be. Overall sweet but not sugary - all-too-rare a thing. Waitrose is pleasant, and again not over-sweet, but aside from the assertive buttery-ness there are no distinguishing flavours here due to a rather bland mince (Cognac? What Cognac?). Mind, even that is not a wholly bad thing - compare-and-contrast with M&S āClassic All-Butter Mince Piesā (Ā£2.00 / six) with an overpowering, chemically hogo of clove and mouthwashā¦ Yuk.
Both also stand-out somewhat for having pastry that seems to have been properly cooked and not left white and half raw, although Waitrose achieves this better than Spar.
Price: Both similar - Waitrose Ā£2.80, Spar Ā£2.60.
I ate these cold, Sam had hers warmed, we both agreed on the final conclusions, and both agreed they kicked M&S sorry assā¦ Neither are remarkable, anyone could bake something better at home, but the Spar beat any shop-bought Iāve tried in the last few years.
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loses for NOT HAVING A PROPER LID!!!1!!!
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BāGod has this not been made clear?. āParty tartsā may be fun but there are consequences, A rash or just disdain from those that acknowledge the basics of āPIEā
Although Iām yet to start my pie tasting run in to Xmas,I always find any pie that says luxury to be wank
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Beware of generalisations! Sure, a pie should be a pie, but these mass-productions are chiefly distinguished by average-to-plain-atrocious pastry - that being so, less of it is a good thing, especially when the mince filling totters towards the dizzy heights of āacceptableā, as here. These are really not too bad.
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Hoff breathā¦To clarify, the criteria for pie tasting is: pastry + filling. If the pastry must be minimised, eat mince out of a jar.
A volume knob is not an Ongaku, a toe is not a foot and a tart is not a pie. Namaste
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You will find it a barren road to Enlightenment, Sensei.
My road shall be paved with delicious, tarty Compromise!
é å¼µćļ¼
I, I, ah fuck it.
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ā¦and to be fair, this is not the worst idea youāve ever had 
I might even scoop it out onto some Mini-Cheddars for that Heston Blumenthal experience at a fraction of the costā¦
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You might need to add petroleum for the full Heston experience. Arenāt this yearās Wankenstall pies Cheddar and Diesel flavour?
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What you are laying down, The right thinking man will never pick up. You see such men are completely allergic to compromise & adequacyā¦ These are the death tolls of ecstasy. Anyone man here happy with a touch of ecstasy? Some OK happiness? Can I interest you in a bag of meh? Fuck every which way from Jerusalem NO!
Here Sirs we strive for complete saturation of rapture. A juggernaut of joy that rides above, through and over āOKā leaving such tardy notions squashed and defunct
Pie or Die!
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OK! OK! Call the F15 off - Iāve had enough!
(It really has been doing this ever since the pie thread kicked back offā¦!)
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