Park like a cunt (and other driving fuckwittery)


Look at this dipstick displaying a rather cavalier attitude to road safety…







Black BMW parked on my driveway nice and neatly today. Jackie was out so the BMW wasn’t an issue.

An hour and a half later Jackie arrived back and parked behind the BMW. Eventually, the owner came back and was obviously keen to get away as she did this:


Yep, she chose to drive down our driveway, across the pavement, do a u-turn into the main road and plough up our lawn.

:face_with_symbols_over_mouth: :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: :face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth:


LOL, I’m surprised they didn’t get stranded on that!



I’m not interested in gardening as a rule, but the skid marks are an apt souvenir of this person’s attitude.



I trust you reported them for criminal damage?


Couldn’t you have encouraged one of your Jack Russells to leave a nice doggie “present” on her bonnet?


After you reported them for trespassing.

I would have let the tyres down at the very least if I had an hour and a half to wind myself up :rage:


Pretty sure that’s a criminal offense, so probably not worth it. Dog turds are far better.


Diminished responsibility Your Honour :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


Especially if located by the cabin air intake…


… or there’s the box of carpet tacks that you carelessly dropped, upon returning from B&Q, in the shock of discovering that someone had stolen your driveway.

No problem because “run flats”.:grin:

…and because we don’t “do” carpet grippers.:zipper_mouth_face:


Meh! I was dealing with a BMW driver. There is no way I could possible impinge upon her selfishness (she had a client and has to earn a living :roll_eyes:) without demeaning myself by behaving in an equally poor way.


I have poor impulse control, so disregard this, but there is no way that someone who did that on my property would be coming back to a car that didn’t have some very expensive damage “accidentally” done to it.

Un-fucking-believable! :angry: :rage: :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:


Or under the door handles.


I’d give it the Aussie bowler treatment if it happens again…


To who?
Not a police matter.


You mean hurl stuff at it really accurately until it shits itself, blubs and beats a hasty retreat?

If you want me to take sandpaper to it, well that is allegedly a thing only Strayan top order batsmen would consider doing.



Too immediate. You want them a mile down the road when the engine warms them up enough to get past the feu d’orange.