Porridge wankery and other vileness (was Inspiring achievements)


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Out of the goodness of my heart I tried to help some people with their breakfast and all I get is piss-taking. Cunts.


Help. Porridge.

Does not compute. :clown_face:

You’ll be trying it soon enough, oh yes… And Somewhere deep in your dark heart there will be fleeting recognition and appreciation. :+1:

Pete later.


I really won’t. Hate the vile slurry.


Oats should only be consumed where they belong. In biscuits. No need to fucking ruin them.


The vagueries of a mortar and pestle grind will get to you eventually,
Do you think the Feld will have a suitable setting or will a new proprietary grinder be required?

He prefers a nice piece of fish with a mushroom sauce :+1:


and pineapple topping

I like pineapple you fuckwits, it’s when you deploy it in contravention of the laws of nature and good taste that the problem arises.

I have heard an unholy trinity of ham, pineapple and jalapenos is quite the thing. Gonna try one soon.


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Brace for a connipt:

I like to lightly toast the oats (basically dry-fry in the pan) before cooking them - I stew them in water with apricots and sultanas until thick, leave to stand for 20 minutes. Milk goes in after so it doesn’t get that nasty-ass ‘cooked milk’ taste. Coconut milk is gurt lush for a change. Salt, no sugar, plenty in the fruit.

Pete could always sub dried pineapple for the apricots of course, possibly some crispy bacon or anchovies…

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Porridge with milk and salt. The Scottish way.

Milk’s a bit luxurious. Porridge with salt & water surely?


It’s supposed to be a meal not a punishment…


best breakfast porridge recipe.

Take 2 scoops of porridge, 2 slices of bread, salted butter and marmalade.

Throw the porridge in the bin, toast the bread, apply butter and marmalade.


Water when cooking, milk and salt added.
Not for English people.