Already told him i want out in July. I’ll reiterate that and be firm.
Ultimately they can enforce the 3 month notice but it does seem a futile exercise as ive only been here 7 months.
I think you need to get your shit together and take some fucking decisive action regarding my termination of employment. With the omnishambles and lack of paperwork surrounding the notice period and considering I shitted in your office drawer only 3 weeks after passing probabation. I think a last working day of Friday 12th July is more than sufficient and fair as a handover period. Now fuck off
I am going to sign my contract to join a new firm by tomorrow when the pubs open In order to do this, I need you to confirm that you agree with the end date I have suggested.
Please respond ASAP.
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Succinct
Time to deploy the James Bond method.
Use pretty secretary to seduce married manager - Take pictures.
Walk into managers office the next morning with images - state required bonus, leave by noon.
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Im not sure hed know what to do with a lady.
OK Option B.
Buy uuni pizza oven, get it going about lunch time, feed everyone but the manager, accidentally allow uuni to fall on lots of files, The accidental blaze should cover your downtime. Leave by 1pm in time for nap.
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Ill give that a go.
Option C
(Assuming the manager is a loner, incapable of making real relationships and probably spends the lions share of his wages on wank lines). Start to surreptitiously plant sex chat numbers where he can see them. He will suffer an unconscious urge to call the number. When he calls I will extract his credit card details and record his wanton groaning - This will be recorded - See the latter pt of the Bond option above to complete extraction from company avec bonus.
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Or, just quit.
If you lost your job and were unemployed, would you consider going back to them?
Sometimes being dangerous isn’t quite as dangerous as it should be, meaning less entertainment for me.
Breach of contract and future reference.
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Dear Cunts,
I’m offski in July 'cos you’re shit
Fuck Off
Penance.
There you go, job jobbed.
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Should i shit in his desk for good measure?
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No. That would be unseemly.
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But satisfying
I’m not sure I would send it, yet. At this point it’s too easy for them to say no as there’s nothing in it for them. Your future contract and start date are not their problem and not what they are motivated to sort out. Once they’ve said no, where do you go from there? You kind of paint yourself into a corner where your options are then very limited.
At the moment you don’t fully understand their objections and concerns with releasing you sooner than 3 months. If you hang your email on handover and it’s something else, like hiring a replacement etc then you’re likely trying to assuage the wrong concern.
I would advise trying to get a meeting with HR and your line manager to try to surface their real concerns and counter those. Also you can say things in a meeting that you wouldn’t necessarily write down, and can be frank about how little there is to handover. The overall tone should always be helpful and focused on maintaining continuity of their business, even if your real agenda is getting out at the earliest opportunity.
If the meeting is not going well, you can always close it before making any commitment except to continue working with them to resolve the issue, and that you need to go and reflect on what you’ve heard etc which gives you a window to think about your strategy and an opportunity to come back to them with a final proposal.
If they’re just not listening at this point and acting illogically then at least you know where you stand, that you’ve tried your best to resolve the issues, and then you’ve got a bigger decision to take about what you’re prepared to do about it.
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very much this for me
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If there is nothing to hand over, then replacing you is just an exercise in maintaining FTE numbers. Why wait for them to recruit a replacement when you won’t be handing any work to whoever they take on? If you go on 12th July, they would have to prove any resulting financial loss. This seems unlikely given the above.
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Nah, just wipe a bit of dog shit under his car door handle and eat asparagus and piss in his heater vents… A desk can be easily cleaned or replaced, a car is the gift that keeps on giving when it comes to petty acts of revenge. A small space the victim has to sit in for a couple of hours or more every day that costs many thousands of pounds and is accessible 24/7? It’s a gift to the casual cunt.
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fish wedged between heatshield and exhaust is always good