Salt and syrup - you are a sick fuck
and so are you.
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You cast, I bite. You love fishing, doncha Ritch 
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Very funny. I’ve heard rumours that people exist who put vine toms in the fridge to get rid of the flavour (presumably) 
Have A Fucking Word With Yourself! 
And made with oats not that fucking Ready Brek shit you use
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Rolled or pinhead?
Porridge must be served with dark muscavado sugar and a swirl of cream.
Right, what’s next?
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porridge must be banned - gross sludge.
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Deep fried things are for life and not just seasonal.
I still have fond memories of the chipper in Leith that would deep fry whatever you brought.
Deep fried walnut whip was my go-to pleasure. Although the walnut had to be removed for reasons of decency. Oh those were the days.
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When you get a meat pie in the chippy in scotchland, don’t they normally ask if you want it in the fat?
mmmm deepfried pies…double win.
ftfy
That said, I like my porridge with salt too.
VB
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I should add though, that I love congee though.
Maple syrup is for pancakes and maybe, just maybe, saltier bacon if one is on holiday relaxing.
Dark muscovado is an option for porridge although there isn’t much wrong with the traditional golden syrup.
Of course the neat porridge is made with salt to begin with. I find that 1 measure of oats, 1 of water & one of milk (I use a small wine glass) makes the right amount. Warmed (under constant observation) in the microwave.
I’m not having that. Look at the picture. It’s actually called Oat So Simple because its made from oats. Simple.
I think you should try Maple with salty porridge. You have already admitted that it goes well with salty bacon.
Microwave? I think porridge needs agitation, stirring over a moderate heat is the way. I agree with everything else in your post. 
I do stop the microwave after a couple of minutes & stir but I can’t be arsed with doing it on the hob.
Maple is quite a strong taste. Not really sure why it seems to work with pancakes. Maybe the slight nuttiness? I suppose golden syrup does as well but with a different tasting outcome.
These.
2:1 semi-skimmed milk to oats, cooked in a small saucepan on the hob (no microwaving !) without salt until the consistency of heavy duty wallpaper paste. Optional upgrade - add a large handful of raspberries at the beginning of cooking and these can be squashed to make it go pink before eating…
Yummy.
Porridge made with coconut cream + some of those dumpy super sweet Thai bananas is joy in a bowel
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Yay! 
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Great book.
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I think you need to see a therapist. Are you some sort of vegan?
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