We need details of how youāre making it wrong. 
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Half a mug of oats then a mug of half water/milk heated and stirred in a small saucepan. No salt at the moment but I may try it.
If thereās a microwave only method thatās reasonable Iād give it a try because screw washing up.
Oats in a bowl, about the same again in semi-skimmed milk and 2 minutes in the microwave. 
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Exactly what I do.
Those are the same proportions I use. I do put in a very small pinch of salt & do 2 minutes (covered) in the microwave then stir then another 40 secconds more.
Your microwave may vary. Worth doing the experiment & watching to see exactly how long the second blast needs to be after stirring.
Then topped with marmite & tabasco natch
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In my unceasing quest to annoy purists (and, to a limited extent, to make really unhealthy food marginally less deadly), I use about one quarter porridge oats in pancake batter, plus a couple of tablespoons of oat bran - blend them into the pre-egg mix so itās smooth.
Porridge without salt is Rong.
Just add sugar you bunch of weirdos
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In a world that has golden syrup, honey, molasses and most-especially, jam - why would you put sugar in porridge?
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I put blueberries on mine, just a few.
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Maple syrup or riot
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both good shouts
Reported.
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Where I grew up in Scotland it was Scottās Porridge Oats with milk and sprinkled with salt.
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To the Queen for inclusion in her next honours list?
Againā¦ proof that Laird David of Chelsea knows where itās at.
Thank you Sir Stu.
The pleasure was all mine, my Liege .
I weigh mine - 40g oats, 300g milk. 4 and a half minutes in the microwave.
Pass the bucket.
Actually, on second thoughtsā¦ 