Come to Daddy.
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why have you got photos of James Whale in a negligee?
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Can never see this enough 
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It’s fine. Have a bit to drink, it’s all good.
Fun fact. This photo was taken when I was working for Audio Partnership. At one time or another, I shared a hotel room with every single person in this photo and in three cases, a bed too;
All strictly platonic I stress.
This is the correct answer.
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Stalker at the back not so platonic
When on a residential training-cum-team bonding week, I had to share a room (separate beds) with a gay colleague. No real problem until he got really shitfaced one night and puked in his bed. As I am a gentleman, I suggested that we platonically share my bed.
Everything was good until he told me how much he fancied me and if I wasn’t prepared to have sex with him, asked if it would be OK if he knocked one out.
I was mortified and disgusted at the thought.
So we had sex instead.*
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*I may have made that story up.
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That was obvious from the moment you said
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I hate you 
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It’s OK to have these fantasies, we’ve all thought about it.
.
.
Just not with you, obviously 
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That’s the fear.
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10 PRINT “Hello Regretfilled Stag-Doer!”
20 INPUT "Where have you been? ", ARBITRARYDESTINATION$
30 PRINT "What happens in "; ARBITRARYDESTINATION$
40 PRINT "Stays in "; ARBITRARYDESTINATION$
50 INPUT “So, did Shit Happen?”, SHITHAPPENED$
60 IF SHITHAPPENED£ = “y” THEN GOTO 70 ELSE GOTO 120
70 PRINT “OMFG what did you DO, motherfucker?!”
80 PRINT “www.nhs.uk/conditions/counselling/”
90 INPUT “did you wear a johnny?”, NOCONDOM$
100 IF NOCONDOM$ = “y” THEN GOTO 110 ELSE GOTO 120
110 PRINT “www.nhs.uk/conditions/sexually-transmitted-infections-stis/”
120 PRINT “You fucking liar! She’s gonna KILL you…”
130 END
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That takes me back 6th form Commodore Pet days. Just missing a few apt peek and poke commands. 
I think that comes under ancient (programming) languages.
who doesnt love a poke about in the depths of the software.
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