This fucking thing not only looks like it should be in Gran’s house but it is almost totally useless. It falls over as you go past it and you then have to pick up all the cards. It has no feet so will scratch any surface, meaning it has to go on the floor. It only holds a small amount of cards, so when it comes out it is immediately full and then there are cards everywhere anyway.
It’s shit, I’m skipping it come 12th night and I say this every year.
For the last two years this little gimp has been dragged out. Supposedly the Christmas Elf is to encourage good behavior from fruit of loin 1. He must be moved every night to a new position. F.O.L finds this most exciting and continues his crimes against decency unabated. I have attempted to point out the elf is not your friend he’s Santa’s spy. F.O.L finds this very amusing usually dismissing the notion with “Silly Daddy”