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Anyone who didnāt read that to themselves in Gregg Wallaceās voice is a fucking liar.
and I didnāt even mention anointing with brandy butter or the buttery biscuit base
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I have a mild sensory neuropathy, which means my tongue is permanently slightly numb. Could this explain why mince pies just arenāt tangy enough? I just had a Tesco Finest, allegedly good, but they seemed a bit meh. I liked the pastry, but the filing had no real bite or texture. Iām beginning to think itās meā¦
You probably need more than one filing to be able to taste them properly (is this like putting a sixpence in the Xmas pud ?).
VB
Bracing myself for a shitstorm, but when I can be arsed to make MPs, the filling contains a fairly hefty hit of fresh lemon juice plus some zest - not noticed it in any commercial effort.
Are they only doing their test now? They are (too) late to the game and I imagine desperate for an angle.
Waitrose at the top is lazy. Very lazy. Sainsburyās at the bottom, I find hard to swallow. Sainsburyās donāt mess up their Xmas staples that badly.
Not impressive from The Times. Lazy. Too late to the game. Chasing controversy. Sounds like a mess of a test.
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Not so much forbidden as to be delayed.
Mince pies crumbled over anything is the sort of food weāll all be served whilst sitting in our own piss, when moving at vast expense to the next place.
I have just spent a ridiculous amount of time and money on my gob to avoid just this sort eventuality. 
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Not an issue for me - Iām told that as soon as I start displaying signs of long term mental or physical health issues Sam will be handing me a one-way ticket to Switzerland for a brief economy stay at Dignitas.
Tough but fair. Aināt even joking.
Weāre talking about mince pies. Fuck yerself off to the stationery threadā¦
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Was going to try the Tesco Finest test winner, but then I got side-tracked by the spiced plum tarts. Not bad. Like a giant jam tart. Nice to start with, but by the end, all that jam gets a bit heavy going. Needs more spice and less sugar. Might buy again.
we agree having just tucked into a box of Simmons ones from down the road. Pastry quite short and crumbly, well filled and not too sweet. But too much caster sugar on the top, a quick wave of the Dyson soon sorted that out.
Yes, I tend to vacuum them down too 
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Observing the traditional approach
200 year old coal fired oven
Mince prep
Deep filled with tasty pastry. Crisp to the top, slightly soft base but overall the best Iāve had from a shop.
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I was disappointed that the little farm shop in our village didnāt have any locally baked pies (they usually do and from memory they are good), so settled for āBritainās Favouriteā Mr Kipling.
I have imagined that the boxed pies in supermarkets are made in some giant pie facility on the outskirts of Shanghai, as they are all pretty much the same. However it turns out that Kipling are made in Ashford, so are maybe more local to me than the ālocalā ones are! Surprisingly, these are alright and actually cooked. They have a tiny sprinkle of caster sugar on top and the same generic, over sweet mince but I am learning that the Devonians among us are onto something with the room tempā clotted shizzle; It quite nicely balances any over sweetness.
I shall be getting some more clotted cream for work next week and letting out the new coat I am making myself. Gotta go do something now, giant sugar rush!
Where Matt?