He’s a very lucky man 
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At long last …
Greggs. No airs and graces about the presentation with these fellows. There are indeed 6 mince pies within the minimally festively decorated box.
No mention of luxury or deep fill, which is a bit of a disappointment, but the optimist in me is thinking that the pies will do the talking.
The box is reassuringly heavy when containing the full compliment of pies, however, this initial joy is tempered by extreme dusting. Needless.
Pastry is light and relatively crumbly, holds together well and at the same time yielding. Checked for continuity with multimeter (see full measurement suite in later post).
Filling is indeed sweet and quite sticky but pleasant enough. Certainly not the worst thing I’ve had in my mouth but found myself ‘pied-out’ after only two.
A bit of oven action and a drizzle of Carnation milk these would certainly please.
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One does NOT drizzle clotted cream 
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Who knows with plumbers? They shit in buckets and bury their dead at bus-stops - so any horrifying behavioural monstrosity is possible… 
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And to cap it all he’s a Scotch 
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Changed it now.
Good grief… Astounding they’re allowed out in public really…
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Mmmm…Carnation “cream”, classy 
Do you take in tea too?
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I think he’s only allowed out with his carer 
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Honestly!
I think that manufacturing methods and QC are potentially damaging to the end product. I really like the bits where some of the filling has just escaped, and it’s gone extra chewy and sticky - not burnt obviously. But this never happens with modern manufactured pies.
Uncrumbled Simmons mince pie with unmelted strong cheddar cheese is an ok combination. Nowhere near as good as cheese with fruitcake or malt loaf. I may not try that combo again.
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I imagine that I and my various sibs all reached our teens before realising that Carnation wasn’t in fact cream.
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That’s your lunch that is:
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I think that should be in the slaughterhouse thread if that’s what your emissions look like
Are these pics taken on the same van seat that that had THAT stain on?
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Festive interlude
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Haha, we also used to have Nestles sterilised tinned cream, you had to vigorously shake the tin for about 10 minutes to amalgamate the contents 
Amazingly still available! 
While condensed milk is the greatest substance in culinary history…
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