The Mince Pie Thread

[Mrs_Maureen_OPinion]

Admirable dedication to cause right there.

And fortunate that you have photographic evidence of inadequate rimming

[notaclue]

With those photos, you could get media interest. Say you were testing for the missing crust. They’ll want a picture of you looking sad holding the plate.

Crust-mas Crapper.

Tell Fortnums you’ll go to the Daily Mail if you don’t get a replacement box of pies. Or ask for a hamper.

[Valvebloke]

@notaclue

Tell Fortnums you’ll go the Daily Mail if you don’t get a replacement box of pies for each and every one of us.

FTFY

VB

[Valvebloke]

@murrayjohnson

What mincemeat is she using? Home made or from a jar?

Home made, some while ago. The only added sweetener beyond the fruit and the booze is, apparently, a smallish amount of store-bought apricot jam to give it a bit of cohesion, and I think even that’s ‘reduced sugar’. This way, even if I over-indulge, my blood-sugar doesn’t rocket into damaging territory.

VB

[stu]

Yes,tell F&M a bit of the crust fell on to your record player which in turn ripped the stylus off your 10 grand cartridge.
You went home with the hump and had a row with your wife because of this,and she has now taken the kids to live in Italy.On her way out,she slammed the front door and the roof collapsed,one of the rafters crushed your new car,and a tile decapitated next doors cat.

Reckon that should get you a hamper.

[Ruprecht]

I want Hamper!

[stu]

https://www.fortnumandmason.com/products/the-imperial-hamper?taxon_id=2183

[J_B]

It would only start your gout off again

[chelseadave]

I’m sorry but they are not F&M Mince Pies unless they have chocolate infused pastry.

[murrayjohnson]

Were you sure to publicly make clear to stern & saucy post office girl that Yes, the F & M package was indeed for you?

[husky981]

@murrayjohnson

Were you sure to publicly make clear to stern & saucy post office girl that Yes, the S & M package was indeed for you?

ftfy

[Wayward]

@Valvebloke

Batch 2

The sticking-to-the-pan issue appears to have been solved and Mrs VB says they’ve come out a bit darker this time because, er, there was something distracting on the telly. Honestly. You just can’t get the staff.

VB

These look really good Graeme, great sheen on them👍

[stu]

Slumming it with a Tesco pie

[Wayward]

Summats had a go at that at about 12o/c

[A_Touch_of_Cloth]

From 12 right through to 2.30 I reckon.

[stu]

Suspect No 1

[notaclue]

You can see the distortion to the foil at about 11.57. That’s your point of entry. They’ve then moved across clockwise. Probably disturbed before they go to 3 o’clock and scarpered. All the hallmarks of the brown rat, I’m afraid to say.

Plus the lid is lifting off from about 4 o’clock to 8 o’clock. That’s more like the work of beetles. Probably weevils.

Poor effort from Tesco. Worse than the F&M debacle. Quite a bit worse.

[anon14766838]

I think it was Janice on checkout number 2 - I’m sure I can see her teeth marks

[browellm]

Which mysterious entity or organisation is collecting these pie edges? To what nefarious ends will they be used?

[Wayward]

Who ever it is they have pie knowledge, they have gone for the most thoroughly cooked part of the rim.