The return of shit joke thread (incorporating the humour toilet) and mainly reposts of reposts of reposts



This is worse that @charliechan’s effort, and that takes some doing!


I remember my Dad telling me that in 1964

I’d already heard it







Interviewer: Describe yourself in 3 words please Mr O’Reilly.

O’Reilly (for it is he): Lazy.







Sylvan calliphagy. :heart_eyes:








A pensioner drove his brand new Mercedes to 100 mph, looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, … then 155, … Suddenly he thought, “I’m too old for this nonsense !” So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, “Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I’m taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason that I’ve never heard before, why you were speeding… I’ll let you go.”

The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :- “Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back.” !!!

The Cop left saying, " Have a good day, Sir "…


Even by the standards of antiquity frequently exhibited here, that one was being told just after we crawled out of the swamp.

And it was old then.


A Photon checks into a hotel and the Concierge asks if he has any luggage.

The Photon replies, “No, I’m travelling light”.