Things that suck (mumsnet: vacuum cleaners)

There in lies the tub

Nilfisk

25 years and counting

I bought a Sebo 2 years ago. The most powerful one. Itā€™s ok. But it would be better if it was 50% more powerful. 7/10.

Goblin (really) wetā€™nā€™dry, purchased in 1987 to celebrate [!] splitting from my cunt of an ex and getting my own place. Still my go-to when the modern shite is Fail. Have unclogged soakaways, emptied flooded cellars (hang just the motor/top out the window and be very patientā€¦), hoovered-up spiders the size of small cars, and got a mouse out of a drain pipe. Weā€™ve had some adventuresā€¦

Never stuck my dick in it mind, despite its name - my formative years working in operating theatres and A&E wised my up to colourful bachelor experimentsā€¦

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Hoover 1700 wet and dry. Would also have been bought around 1986 or 1987. Weā€™ve renovated two houses with it including, in this house, taking down plaster and lath ceilings literally everywhere (OK, not the living room extension). I shovelled up the big bits and lifted the rest with the Hoover. I think weā€™ve replaced all the tools, maybe some more than once, but nothing in the machine itself.

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Dedicated hoover thread yus, haha


Stronzetto refuses to respond when I shout Dyson at him. No great surprise, he is tremendously poor at cognitive response. I imagine itā€™s troublesome to really immerse ones self into the finer details of cleaning with a glue bag on your head? By way of encouragement, Iā€™ve been forced to hire an overseer to threaten him with decapitation - still the work is deeply sub par. What to doā€¦?

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And before the standard rants come in, the mumsnet title was mod generated.

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Also, Iā€™d never allow Mumsnet levels of transphobia etc here. Bunch of cunts.

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TERFnet. Gibbering, hate-wracked insanity afoot there. Letā€™s stick to hoovers :pray:

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The indestructible thunderbastard of the vacuum world. Until such time as I am sufficiently enfeebled to carry one upstairs, Iā€™d never use anything else (and even then, Iā€™d consider having an upstairs one).

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Thereā€™s nothing really in a Henry to break like that

I would never use a Henry.
I knew a woman who worked in their factory and developed carpal tunnel problems, the firm was not sympathetic and she was eventually sacked because she could not work. She needed operations on both hands
Turned out she was not alone and it was caused by the way they handled the product on the production line. People in the same situation got organised and pursued a class action action against the company. Henry settled out of court but never admitted liability.

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Ugh thatā€™s horrible

I found a Henry in the loft of my tiny houslette in Oxfordshire when I moved-in in 2005, it looked very old and battered then. It blew-up spectacularly a couple of years ago shitting-out sparks and flames before a loud bang that shut-off the houseā€™s main RCDā€¦ :open_mouth:

So they can be killed, but I suspect it involves about 40 years of grotesque abuse and neglect.

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I currently have a Dyson, Sebo, two Kirbys and a Henry.

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Wow! Like Paul and turntables. The AA way.

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That would seem to cover all the options :rofl:

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:roll_eyes:

Narelle wouldnā€™t have anything other than a Dyson. Yes, she knows heā€™s a cunt but, the weight, agility, and power suit her job (and her back). Plus, she gets a free one every couple of years (Triggerā€™s broom syndrome).

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