Spending valuable drinking time fitting new hasp & staple locks to the brewhouse after some cunts broke in last night while we were in the pub. We must have disturbed them cos nowt was taken. There’s lots of shiny in there which would be attractive for scrap.
Unless it was the village alcoholic 
Have you considered a “Beware of the Agapanthus” sign?
Should deter most mouth-breathers.
Why would you break into your own shed…
I’ll see you in Spalding 
Have you considered installing a leather studded Sodbury9000 in the shed for deterrence?
Hmmm. Could be scary enough but I fear the amount of shit flinging may cause some issues with beer 
Just put a “Warning: contains keyboard solos” sign up.
The “Contains Cunt” sign wasn’t working 
Warning: Shed may contain capes
60s with an electric screwdriver should have those hinges off, lol.
Either that or they tasted some of the brews. 
Are we criticising choices of hinges now?
I finished off cutting the grass!
Feel like I have a lump hammer in my kidney area mind you.
Not sure what will happen when the happy pills wear off.
'cept they have carriage bolts too.
That’s another who misses out 
An extra 30s with a drill then. 
I assume the gig will be standing? In which case you’ll need a porta-seat and a hip flask.
I may try the bouncers and see if there’s a special area for softies and wusses.
Rock city isn’t know for its comfort. There are some upstairs seats but you can’t see the stage.
