If I bought a place in Brighton that is all I would have room for 
Haywards Heath and surrounding areaâŚ
20mins to the sea, surrounded by countryside, 5 minutes to the m23, 20mins to Gatwick, four or five golf clubs in the surrounding area.
I remember a weekend in worthing sat in a hotel room, pissing it down outside waiting for a club to open so a mate could DJ. Got so bored we ended up playing real life granny racing along the sea front.
Property turnover must be massive down there as it seems a bit âgods waiting roomâ, like Florida, only without the American excess, crocodiles and thriving drug import business.
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I grew-up next-door to Bournemouth, and those places really are a human Elephantâs Graveyard - the dead and nearly-dead are nearly indistinguishable. Getting into trouble with the police and getting intoxicated were literally the only fun to be had, and I was long gone before I hit 19. I just donât understand why anyone under the age of 80 would choose to stay in those dreary, depressing, no-point townsâŚ
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I quite like Brighton. Hove is posher. Never spent much time in Brighton until recently. I have found everybody really friendly and helpful. Climate is benign, can sit outside and enjoy life. But by gum, rents are expensive. I am sure it would be as cheap in much of London.
You can see why these wouldnât be high on the 18-year-old Soddersâ priority list though âŚ
VB
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That was probably while I was isolating
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Cock punch to estate agent this morning.
I rang up the other day and enquired about the detached properties available at a new build site.
Moved some work stuff around and went for a viewing at 9.00 with mask and gloves etc.
Met up with the woman who said âWe have two different 3 bedroom units at different price points I would like to show you.â
Walked round to the first one, She is fumbling around with a massive key ring.
âErr this one is semi detached isnât itâ
âThatâs rightâ she said
âI wanted to see detached propertiesâ
âOh did you? Sorry they are all goneâ
When I spoke to you the other day I asked about the detached properties in your RightMove ad?"
âOh well, I thought you were interested in seeing new buildsâ
âGoodbyeâ
The ad on RightMove for detached properties is still there
âEstate Agents Are Lying Incompetent Cunts, Shockerâ
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So bit of uncertainty as to whether the guy who made initial offer on other house is going to back this up but early days.
Less certainty though in what the buggery Hel wants next. Turns out if she had her way weâd sell up and buy a place by the sea on the assumption that all my work is from home now anyway (and this will never change) so we can live somewhere remote miles from a motorway, train station or decent broadband 
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Weâd prefer it if you moved somewhere like that.
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Are we on other planets yet? Cos that would be good 
Ooh get you, like a sassy Rick Moranis 
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in a country with decent weather
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in a country with decent seaside towns
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Wayne is of âthat ageâ so he would probably fit in well with the good folk of ClactonâŚ
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Who?
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'zactlyâŚ
Naw, I want to go North or Norn Iron. By the sea.
Proper shite weather 