Not a beloved artist’s side-track that You don’t like: I mean a real stinker that towers-under all other mere turds.
The kind of utter bollocks that either spree-murdered a career, or hooked it out of the uterus of fame with the coathanger of mediocrity…
I’ll get us rolling downhill with;
Yeah - so many got suckered-in to buying this off the back of ‘Donnie Darko’ and Jules’ genuinely moving cover of Tears For Fears’ ‘Mad World’…
And what did we find: 12 other tracks that bore no resemblance to the loss-leader. Twelve boluses of almost breathtaking mediocrity, penned and performed - we presume extremely hastily - by Jules, presumably to cash-in on the success of DD, a movie which at the time might otherwise have seemed to have cult potential at best.
The only thing I can remember about the first and only play of this album is how incredibly unoriginal, uninteresting, derivative and cringeworthy it all is.
It has none of the trippy charm of their first effort or the aggression of the second. It’s a whinging, disjointed, overlong mess of an album without a single decent idea on it. The only vaguely tolerable track; Herd Killing was tweaked and used to better effect in the Wipeout 2097 intro meaning you don’t have to buy this. Ever.
I was young, impressionable and everyone seemed to be into them at school. I was trying to fit in a bit and wasn’t really into music much then (all books and computer games), and the girl I fancied in my tutor actually spoke to me when she saw I had it.
Thought it was the most boring, pretentious pile of wank I had heard at the time and trying to revisit it for my 50th year only confirmed how bloody awful it really is.
I had it on cassette as the only thing I had to play it on at the time was a free Boots branded walkman my Dad had free when he bought a posh Philips electric shaver, and it only had a fast forward, no rewind button on it.
Before the week was out I had given it away to a friend and decided I didn’t really want to fit in at school, grew my hair long and somehow got into metal and reading William Burroughs. The girl I fancied in my tutor never spoke to me again, I was surprisingly nonplussed.
In fairness, I can’t label any of your faves as ‘the worst ever’ because they’re so interminably long and tedious, I can’t finish any of them to make so definitive a call.
I’m not sure how I acquired this somewhere around 1980
I certainly didn’t pay for it. I suspect someone who didn’t like me slipped it onto the shelf when I wasn’t looking. I still have it. I’ve never played it, at least not all the way through. The opening track on Side 2 is protoplasmic crud. Sorry, Protoplasmic Crud.
Despite apparently being just 38 minutes long, it does in fact go on for ever. It might be possible to achieve immortality by listening to it because time seems to stop while do doing so. It is however, too high a price to pay.
I must be listening to a different album to any reviewer because this is the only album I possess with no redeeming features at all. Derivative 4 chord indie which manages to posture like a Zoolander tribute act and yet plod at the same time is somehow the high point of the set.
bloody Palestine
