Xmas Cockpunches

I think that seasonal cockpunches deserve their own thread. I’ll start: fuck glitter in cards, and indeed glitter not in cards, and let seasonal cockpunches be rendered to any that send anything glittery. We now have glitter throughout the house.

There should also be a special circle in hell for anyone that simply adds glitter into the envelope in some seasonal ‘fuck you’ gesture.


Fucking brilliant idea that.

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The panto in the dementia care home certainly punched me in the cock. It doesn’t get much weirder than that.

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The postie delivered a glittery abomination today. I opened it as I was leaving the house and the crap just exploded out of it covering the front of my coat. As you can imagine I was overcome with Christmas cheer. That’s one more cunt off the xmas card list.


Fuck Blenheim Palace for putting on a “Chrismas at Blenheim” a walk through trees lit up and a bit of a light show. £16 a head,incorporating a million opportunities to spend money during the tour on over priced food and alcohol whilst I walk . Apparently I’m miserable because I don’t want to make someone who’s rich richer. Fuck em all.


The fad for so called Christmas Markets.

Fuck of with your cinnamon scented tat.


Fixt for the Brexiteers :sob:

I would agree but for the half metre Bratwurst stall in Birmingham.

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Cinnamon, the scent of Christmas! since fucking when? It seems now that you only have to add poxy cinnamon to something and double the price to have humanity wrapping itself up in some kind of Dickensian blanket of bland sentimentality.

Sell said cinnamon covered treat out of a B&Q shed in some faux German market to get half the population spending yet more money on tat and shit to celebrate the birthday of someone you spend the rest of the year not giving a toss about.

Happy Holidays everyone.

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+1 for the glitter. Twinkley fucking muck. It’s like regular dust which shouts “cooey luv, I’m over here!”

Cards have already been binned, I don’t care.

Fell for that one a few years ago.
Please ask for advice in future. I could have saved you money and aggravation.


I’m sure you looked very fetching. :smile:


Cinnamon isn’t too bad, it’s feckin cloves that I can’t stand :unamused:

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I’m sorry to report that I had my wallet raped by Chester Zoo who run a Xmas lights event involving zero animals on display, a few random chavs wearing animal costumes and some cheap lights. It was utter bum gravy

Cheers the heart to hear of an expensive yet disappointing winter attraction. There haven’t been enough of them recently. Unfinished exhibits. A mangy deer or two. Grumpy elves. Rain giving mud rather than snow and of course extortionate admission. Christmas wouldn’t be the same without them.


The Barrow In Furness winter wonderland advert,

German Markets, Real German Ale & Entertainments Tent, Indoor Christmas Craft Fayre, Fairground, Ice Rink, Ride The Hawcoat Express to Santa’s Magical Grotto + Plus Much More TBC
Winter Wonderland Barrow in Furness Cumbria Hawcoat Park from 18 to 20 November 2016 - Events Barrow in Furness

the reality? Well, even Santa got sacked for having a tab :slight_smile:

Inflatable grotto

The winterland express

The food court


That’s more like it. Excellent stuff.


Who dared to say that the spirit of Christmas was dead ?

Now we know what Bob does in his spare time :grinning: