The phone scammers can have one for driving me nuts today !! at least 10 phone calls !! did i know my computer is infected and cheeky git even asked me why i had not responded to their emails
then did i know i have been selected to have 8.3% on an ISA , NOOOOOO i have not got any money… that shut him up fast !
I had a glass company ring me today.
I said I needed an eye test before I bought new glasses
he said windows
I said dont need have bars
he said doors
I said yes I have them
he said porch
I said 911
he said conservatory
I said no
he said garage
I said yes
he said it seems you dont need our help
I said do you sell inflatable hot tubs for our sex parties
he hung up
This should become the standard response to all phone scammers. Except, of course, the ones selling hot tubs and sex parties.
I think Vinyl Me Please deserve one.In their ‘record of the month’ email to me, they not only show said record being mangled by a BSR autochanger, but the daft bint playing it is cueing the arm using the flip-over stylus on the bloody cartridge, instead of the arm’s finger lift!
Yes, I know, I know, I need to get out more…
Just been summoned to a short-notice work briefing to be told one of our engineering apprentices was killed in a motorcycle accident over the weekend.
I feel something or someone needs a firm CP as a result but I’ve no idea what.
So sad.
I remember my secondary school headmaster giving an end-of-sixth-form speech to us all. He said if he had one request it would be that we didn’t take up motorcycling. He said he’d just been to too many funerals. When Mrs VB had a bike, which she did for a few years, I used to skip through the local paper trying to blank out the motorbike fatality stories. There seemed to be one more weeks than not. Allocating blame felt a bit secondary compared with the terrible tragedies.
VB
My late father lost the use of his left arm in a motorcycle accident when he was 19. That was enough to put me off. I have never wanted to ride a bike and never will. Too many twats on the road increase the risks.
This is the problem - you can be riding perfectly safely and some dozy fucker goes and kills you.
Especially if you have to stare at the ground too much to avoid the potholes/cracks/shiny stripes etc that define our lovely roads these days
So tragic to see loss of life from motorcycle accidents , i can`t believe i used to ride a motorbike in London … would not have the bottle now !!!
MrsKettle’s dad was traffic manager for Northants. There was more than one occasion when people never made it back from the bike shop.
What the fuck is up with them?
2019 and people still think it’s ok to hunt whales. FFS
The planet is truly fucked and I’m not sure there’s a cure.
Maybe antivax is actually the cure
Leaking radiation from Fukushima will cause a mutant species of super Orca which will eat their way through the hulls of whaling ships, maybe.
We can hope
Don’t worry; got that for you 
Me. I watched the first episode of new top gear last night and giggled slightly.
I has the taint and hate myself.
Tbh, I was absolutely prepared to hate the Freddy and Paddy show, but I actually quite like it. Maybe it’s a northern thing.
Like tripe ?
(Actually I didn’t watch it, it might be fine, but the pun opportunity was too good to let go.)
VB
