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They obviously haven’t got a record of my near neighbours shed during last December’s storm.

0 mph to gone in less than a minute! He found parts of it half a mile away. Other parts are yet to be discovered.




Not sure where to post this so put it here:

A bit crazy.


only 5 hours late


Anyone got her number?


Yeah. It’s Number Two.







apparently - plump lips are all the rage in Liverpool


There are women up here who are beyond strange looking. They are a curious orange colour, have terrifying eyebrows (scouse brow) and lips that would put a duck billed platypus to shame. I presume that they are also full of silicone in strategic locations but I’ve never felt the need to investigate further.


clearly we are in for some wondrous sights when we visit in July


No different to the bleached hair orange lard arses of Essex.


Clearly you are a man of sophisticated tastes with vast experience of the vagaries of British womanhood.




has anyone got a copy of the Liverpool:English translation book they can lend me.



Florida . . . jesus fucking christ