On a downhill run towards an open fridge, or a cuntry slice, the Abbatoirist is capable of surprising bursts of speed (or flatulence). Speeds of over 50 mph have been recorded, but it is mandatory to wear safety socks with your sandals if you intend to do this.
Higher speeds have been recorded at a bakeoff when a particularly spicy chilli was served, but this led to unfortunate scorch marks on the socks (and other attire) of certain members. It is also rumoured that the world record indoor windspeed was recorded that dayâŠ
I once had the police round cos I was playing Careless Whisper too loud. It is not a moment I am very proud of tbh.
The policeman was very nice and gave me a lift to college though. Probably felt a bit sorry for me.
Joke sentence handed down to the appropriately named del Viscio. IME, the Edinburgh courts donât take domestic violence on men seriously. I suspect heâd be in jail for years had he bitten off her nipple during a drunken assault.
