We’ve had an unusual (and not very enjoyable, if I’m honest) Christmas and New Year chez Jim. A bit of advice from any of you that are, or have been in a similar situation would be appreciated.
Early in December Ann’s 94 year old Uncle had a stroke and had to be rushed to hospital. The stroke fortunately wasn’t a serious one (a TIA) and after a couple of weeks they started talking about discharging him. Although they wouldn’t let Ann visit him because C19 risk, she was in contact with them by 'phone pretty much every day.
Ann is his next of kin, he’s a single man who never married or had children and only one sibling - Ann’s Dad (who passed away in 2016) Ann is an only child, so apart from distant cousins, she’s all he has.
The person at the hospital who deals with the discharging, after questioning Ann about her Uncle’s place, decided it would need to be inspected by the social services team. Interestingly, his bungalow was originally built from re-purposed railway carriages (see pics). Uncle has lived there since 1941, alone since 1988, when his mother died. He has always been fiercely independent, very stubborn and refused all offers of help.
Unsurprisingly, as the place is very run down, dirty, damp and drafty, and also has steps leading to the kitchen/bathroom, they said that it was totally unsuitable and he couldn’t go back there. As well as the social team, Breckland CC housing dept also met Ann at the bungalow. The social said that a temporary place would be found for him, then he would be moved to sheltered accommodation run by Breckland CC.
Imagine our surprise then when the hospital called Ann on Christmas Eve and said to come and collect him. No questions about our house mind!
Of course, he wanted Ann to take him back to his place, but his breathing was (and still is) really bad and he can only (just about) walk with the aid of a frame.
Our place has ample room, but all of the bedrooms are upstairs. It became obvious on the first night that trying to get him upstairs to bed would be impossible, so we removed the dining suite and converted the dining room into a downstairs bedroom. Fortunately, we have a downstairs loo, but still not ideal as the only washing facility downstairs (apart from the kitchen sink) is a small basin in the loo.
As well as having COPD with appalling breathing problems, he is also fairly deaf and poorly sighted but has stubbornly refused to wear hearing aids or specs. His lungs are so bad, sitting next to him is like being next to a gurgling drain. (luckily, the telly has to be turned up so loud so he can hear it, it masks the gurgling noises) TBH, looking after him has been stressful - Ann attends to getting his food, drink and administering the various pills, potions and inhalers he needs while I take care of his hygiene. Not a particularly nice task as he tends to be doubly incontinent - not all of the time but especially when has a coughing fit.
I’m coping so far but Ann has been getting pretty stressed, he’s quite short tempered and rude to her (and strangely quite polite with me) We need help though, and I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar position and can offer some advice?