That’s only .006 of him cut off…meh, would hardly scratch the surface 
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Ooops, clearly it would be 0.0006 if the chopper was the target. 
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How do you know…have you been peeping…again.
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That thing is sharp enough to make sashimi out of my chopper, if she could find it… 
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Wouldn’t tempura be more appropriate? Give the new Deep Fat Fryer a maiden voyage and all that…
Its on her bedside table, along with your balls 
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Would sort of be like very, very small calamari I suppose…
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Oooh get you, you macho thing. I presume you rule the roost with an iron fist…
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The instructions however…
Ahem, I’m not the one who’s had a deep fat fryer hid in my car all weekend 
Would it be worth covering it in lube now ,before it gets shoved up your arse at 6pm?
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Not really, especially if your wife gets home at 5.30pm
From the Milk Float thread:
Block and tackle to be found in wife’s handbag, like most of the rest of us.
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Bless you, you’ve gone to so much effort to prove something that I never actually denied 
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Keeping the thing full of oil at all times is the key. Not only will the oil improve, it can then catch aflame when the hob catches it, even when not in use.
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that is almost certainly going to ruin those lovely brown wood kitchen cupboards, either by flame or by covering your whole kitchen with an oily mist.
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will they insure against all forms of oily lubricant injury?
We don’t offer insurance. We are an agency set up to maximize claims and minimize prison via creative consultancy and encouragement.
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