For when you are not charging your milk float.
Oh…Oh…oh oh…me chip pan’s on fiiiire…
With apologies to Kings of Leon. 
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No more! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
see how it hides unobtrusively behind the small chopping board and trivet?
She’ll never even notice it…
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You’re dead 
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Could be a schoolboy error to put it ‘worryingly’ close to the knife block. One swish of that cleaver and it might be Rob991.25 rather @Rob998.
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That’s only .006 of him cut off…meh, would hardly scratch the surface 
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Ooops, clearly it would be 0.0006 if the chopper was the target. 
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How do you know…have you been peeping…again.
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That thing is sharp enough to make sashimi out of my chopper, if she could find it… 
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Wouldn’t tempura be more appropriate? Give the new Deep Fat Fryer a maiden voyage and all that…
Its on her bedside table, along with your balls 
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Would sort of be like very, very small calamari I suppose…
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Oooh get you, you macho thing. I presume you rule the roost with an iron fist…
.
The instructions however…
Ahem, I’m not the one who’s had a deep fat fryer hid in my car all weekend 
Would it be worth covering it in lube now ,before it gets shoved up your arse at 6pm?
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Not really, especially if your wife gets home at 5.30pm
From the Milk Float thread:
Block and tackle to be found in wife’s handbag, like most of the rest of us.
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