If you are reading this, your mental breakdown is now so severe that you are hallucinating a hifi forum where angry old men try their best to avoid discussing hifi and instead busy themselves calling one-another “CUNTS!” in as many colourful and creative ways as their limited imaginations will allow.
Here is a brief Beginners Guide To The Voices In Your Head:
It is vital that you regularly kill entire threads stone dead with pedantic non-sequiturs because someone has made a generalisation to which you can think of a single, trivial, irrelevant exception. In this particular mundane fever-dream, hate is a fuel, and this is the refinery.
The harder you try to be funny, the more you will Fail, if you’re going to Fail, (and you will), put some effort into it so that we can all share the rosy glow of an Epic Fail. And Yes, this is where 2003 left its useless memes.
There is a specific thread to flytip the wheelchair-orphans of humour from Facebook and leave them there to die. Spread the hate.
Protip - the Moderation team really, really enjoy themed puns, which sometimes run through unrelated threads like a peg-legged mongol in an egg-and-spoon race. Damn! They love that shit so much…
Here, we Believe in cables Most of us only own very expensive cables - with the right cables, actual hifi systems are redundant: Transcend The Hifi Brother! Cheap cables are a bannable offence.
A casual disregard for mains safety is also an endearing quality in a man: the forum elite regularly meet-up on the first plane of the afterlife (at the end of the Tunnel of Light, see you there!), after ritually removing all of the fuses from our plugs and replacing them with copper bars (lick the socket first, to make sure it’s live, obviously). We make all of our own power cables - typically from dramatically unsuitable bits of low-voltage coax.
Earthing is for poofters.
There is also a special thread where you can pretend to be listening to cool and interesting left-field musical choices. Obviously no-one actually is - it’s a solid diet of Dire Straits, Mantovani, Mrs Mills Sings WWII, and Des O’Connor compilations in reality
I would say “Have fun!”, but fun is another bannable offence.
PS: USE THE FUCKING SEARCH FUNCTION, YOU CUNT!