So, my spare time for the next 20 years is spoken for…
That’s it. You’re fucked.
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Proper fucked.
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Lovely. We brought Bryn home at 11 months old. He’s 27 now.
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Has anyone mentioned that you’re fucked?
'cos you are.
Properly.
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Why the long face?
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Oh Lord, what have you done ?
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“I’ve changed my mind Dad, I am off to Uni.
You don’t mind looking after Dobbin do you?” 
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You’ve made your daughter very happy. It will result in some effort from you.
Well done mate, well done!
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You will love it. Great beast to have a seriously moan to about everything that is wrong and who will listen and never argue back.
Carrots required 
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My Costs to date, just this week.
2 return trips to Carlisle = about £120 of diesel.
My mate with the horse trailer, £70 of diesel, £20 odd beer.
£20 tip to the guy who was looking after the yard in Carlisle after he had to go and find my mate after his sat nav sent him to the wrong farm (albeit with a very similar name and 1 digit postcode difference) about 10 miles away.
£40 odd on motorway McDonalds breakfasts and Tebay services lunches…
£45 horse insurance.
£5 bag of horse treats/bribes.
£140 1 months livery in advance, on a temporary yard until a space comes up on the yard the girls want to be on.
£50 horse blanket.
£15 wood shavings.
£0.45 Carrots.
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Couple of grand a month? But think of the Insta pics.
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Worth the trip just for the food.
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Their fucking insta alerts never bloody stopped going off the whole way up there and back.
Next lot of costs which I stupidly offered to cover because of doting dad reasons is all the tack:
Saddle fitter: £65 
Saddle: fuck knows, probs between £250 to £500 probs.
Bridle plus something called a martindale, £120
Stirrups: £30
I think I’ve been done over…
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If only someone had warned you…
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Martingale
I know nothing about horses and I know that!
(If you need any further advice … 
)
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They were both in Girl Guides, they’re schooled in deception.
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It starts in the Brownies. Thieving cvnts.
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