7 Likes
Ban people from owning houses with more bedrooms than there are occupants.
It’d be legal to run a car off the road if the driver doesn’t signal.
I’d ban children for a start. Firstly they’re annoying, secondly there’s too many people anyway, much easier to govern an increasingly small population.
1 Like
Once you reach the age of 16, if you are presented with a VHS VCR and cassette and you can’t work out how to use it within 2 minutes, you get beheaded.
Once you reach the age of 16, if you use the word “banter” more than twice in 15 minutes, you get beheaded.
Once you reach the age of 16, if you talk to your parents like they are staff so as to cause them to raise an eye brow, you get your feet cut off.
1 Like
Appropriately timed, if when calling IT support to report your PC is not working and you cannot tell me any of the following:
-
Your name
-
Where your desk is in the office
Instant imprisonment for life at your expense, if you run out of money, no food or water.
I would make everyone I dislike inhale my farts 
1 Like
I’d get rid of hangovers. Bastard things.
You do that already. Also the people you like.
8 Likes
All crime punishable by death
Enforced euthanasia at age 80 (sorry mum)
Sterilise the poor and stupid
Ban Rugby (League and Union)
Nuke Australia
Put Jose Mourinho in the stocks outside the Royal Liver building
Clone Francesca Cumani
Your 2 wishes sound mutually exclusive to me.
To fulfill the 2nd wish, that would require remaining on top. Not off.
1 Like
Oh yeah - with you all the way on that one. As much as I love the jumps, she’s the highlight of the flat season.
2 Likes
So my brother (single man) wouldn’t be able to have guests unless they slept somewhere that wasn’t a bedroom ? And my disabled friend who lives in a bungalow in the next street would have to store his wheelchair and various walking aids in the kitchen ? And Mrs VB who likes to watch soap opera while she’s doing the ironing and also feels the need for an exercise bike and a rower and a sewing machine would have to keep all that lot in our dining room ?
How about a) building some more houses and b) relocating employment so that there isn’t undue demand for housing around a single ridiculously overheated nucleus ?
VB
add to this a tax refund for those choosing not to have offspring and not adding to the burden on the state
2 Likes
Fixt - no more ridiculous house price inflation, so first-timers can get a start and others can actually afford to trade up if they want to.
Hear, hear.
I can’t agree with this - we pay (have paid, will pay) for every damn thing our kids cost, apart from university fees (loan) and their schooling, which surely must count as an investment against future tax income to keep the country limping along in the future.
I would ban people from renting out flats. That would certainly lower the price of property on the first rung by increasing the amount available.