You really are a cunt. 
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Cunts
Where is the craft / the artisan / the time and effort / The luxurious taste?
Convenience costs decency - Cunts
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You really are too kind 
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No problem, you deserve the finest insults known to man! 
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Yup - give him a pop tart
I feel both humbled and honoured 
and because you took the trouble…
Black Forest
For Christmas treats that truly stand out, try these dramatic Black Forest mince pies. Inspired by the flavours of a classic Black Forest gateau, this chocolate twist on a classic is sure to be a crowd-pleaser. With rich cocoa pastry and tangy dried cherries added to the mincemeat (along with an optional splash of cherry brandy), these indulgent pies are dusted with gold glitter for a pretty finishing touch.
Read more at https://realfood.tesco.com/curatedlist/mince-pie-recipes-to-make-this-christmas.html#Jm97lpXBvajwBm04.99
These look really speshul 
Conniption creeps
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I was stood in Waitrose looking at Hestons abominations, when an old lady snatched a packet from the shelf, took a look and promptly put it back.
She muttered at me that they didn’t look very appetizing, and I agreed. She then looked me straight in the eye, and told me her dog Betsy produces better looking turds.
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Standing
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For-blah-um-waffle-strap-yadda-line
Should of got her to sign up here.
She knows her pies
A particularly cruel line of trolling on here today - I’m at home with the kids. This means no restorative napping or Schumann basking - Chi is wilting over here
#me too
I have other persons loin sleepover. Who is
Currently demolishing a full tin of mini hotdogs. I’ve told them both that drinking hot dog juice will give them a beard.
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Careful now! The religion teacher at my old school got 15 years for using that line on a prop forward from the first XV.
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Christmas Pud; Slightly off topic, but I have been asked to provide the pudding for Christmas dinner at Bros. and decided I should make one. I have looked at a few recipes and was a bit taken aback to learn that they need steaming for 8 Hours 
I also learned that that reduces to a mere two and one half hours in a pressure cooker Has anyone tried the pressure cooker method? How long would it need to be reheated for “on the day”? 
microwave FTW
I do not rate the microwave for things that need long slow cooking.
for the reheat I meant, lots of moisture and air in there
I agree need to be long & slow for 1st cook
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Sorry, yes I agree.
We used to use a pressure cooker at my Mum’s for Xmas pud. Always did a decent job. We would cook it early (mid-November IIRC) and leave it to mature. A short reheat in the pressure cooker (say 30 minutes) did the trick. I would absolutely avoid the microwave as my experience is that it dries things out as compared to steaming. One long cook and a short trip in the pressure cooker was the best approach.
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