It’s all Morrisons this year 
BBC Good Food Reveals Best Christmas Foods From Turkey To Mince Pies
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Waitrose offerings this year
Succulent filling on the plus side. The pastry however is claggy and lacking in real flavour. I think I’ll try one in the oven to see if it improves
Being a pro taster,i like mine cold with clotted cream
The pro tasters are slow off the mark this year.
Lacking commitment I fear
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Might need to have a taste off bake off beginning of December.
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Greggs’ 2018 offerings will be being sampled on the morrow.
The ratings will be based on, but not limited to, the following;
i) Succulence
ii)Clagage (pastry)
iii) Fruitiness
iv) Depth
v) Dustage
vi) Feelings of festivity
vii) Likelyhood of being used to plug gap between wall and flue.
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please can you post the units of measurement for each. What do you measure “clagage” in?
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Depth of coating to hard pallet and ‘swallowability’
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I’m hoping to have some ready for this,
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Measured in units of Dag 
Points head south for the presence of ‘dusting’
I like reviewer type words like ‘unctuousness’.
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Pastry "clagage’ is non logarithmic, mainly based on the amount of time, in seconds, it is stuck on the roof of your mouth.
Surely clagage should have two (or three, if you count the last one) g’s
Claggage?
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Not from a Morningside upbringing it doesn’t. 
Sex is what you get coal delivered in.
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Clagginess is measured over time by the Gelatinous Adhesion Gradient (GAG factor).
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With only one g, it rhymes with Farage
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That would imply it would be written clagage but pronounced “slimy Russian funded nauseating self obsessed and utterly odious bunt”
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Bunt? 
Rhymes with.
And apologies I got the initial pronunciation wrong as I forgot the “frog faced” bit.