Righty-Ho ! I’m sure you’re all waiting with bated breath.
This has been a stone in my shoe since February. I have never wanted kids. I always saw myself as too immature and self centred. My first marriage broke up over the fact that once she had the ring on her finger, she thought she could change my mind. At 60, I never expected to have to review my life in such a way.
It has been an extraordinarily difficult decision to make, taking into account Narelle’s reservations, my selfishness and any potential fallout (the reaction of my fucked up family being part of that).
So this evening, rather than get my kid sister involved again, I contacted her directly via Messenger.
I simply stated that I was unhappy that my anonymity had been breached, and was uncomfortable with the situation. So much so, that I did not wish for any further communication. Nor would I appreciate her contacting any of my family members. I did, however, offer to answer any health related questions should there be any, but nothing else.
She replied almost immediately. She stated that she was “mortified” and had been sure that I wouldn’t “reject” her. She did come across as a bit of a “bunny boiler”. However, she agreed to no more contact.
So, with some luck and a fair wind, that should be the end of that.
Not a black & white situation = no monochrome answers. You’ve done what feels right to you, hopefully that’ll put the lid back on the wormcan.
FWVLIW I think you’ve made absolutely the right choice - somebody so emotionally unfulfilled as to genestalk a total stranger against their will is going to be a bottomless well of Need and neurosis. That horse has long-since bolted, this ain’t no fairytale, and any well-adjusted adult would have had the good judgement to know that. Had you submitted to her will, all that would happen would be you getting tangled-up in her web of maladjustment and self-absorption.
I’d have run screaming in the general direction of Far, Far Away, but there’s never been the slightest doubt that I am the absolute antithesis of Parenting Material…
Judging from her ‘mortified’ response she clearly came with ‘expectations’. I can understand her curiosity but everything about ‘the approach’ seems somewhat self centered. You’ve been kind enough to respond and stated your boundary. I hope it’s sufficient for all concerned.
My opinion counts for little but it seems to me you have set out a perfectly balanced response - helpful in the case of health related issues but nothing else. That was more than the basis on which you donated in the past and is probably as far as your moral obligations go now. I hope she stays away. Best of luck.
A few weeks ago I received a PM via Messenger. Then another. Then another. All with the same theme.
“I’ve given you time to rethink your decision”
“We need to meet up”
“I’m desperate”, etc, etc…
All verified as her account. All ignored.
All the best with this. I was almost in a similar situation - I had a lesbian couple who suggested I jizz in a jar for them. I rejected the idea as I had some concerns about the idea of my own progeny that I wouldn’t be able to interact with.
Now that I have kids, it’s clear to me that being a father isn’t being a jizz donor, whether into a cold or warm receptacle, but it’s actually being part of someone’s life, come what may (if you’ll excuse the phrase). You are not the father.
What a shame that they’re so needy. I feel bad for you, the law got fucked up there.
