Ascribe me a new job description to go with my new motor. Overfinch Westminster 4.4tdv8. A long overdue mid life crisis buy some may feel but I am not a born again biker. All scorn is probably well deserved.
Pimp or Drug Dealer
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Did it come with a free horse box?
Hopefully well paid to cover all the repair bills.
Insecure and needing validation 
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Ker-ching! A new one?
Obvsly
I would have you know that this is a nacent classic car that will appreciate in value ( so far as SWMBO has been told). One owner 30K miles. The best use I could make of her her pension pot. A copper bottomed investement.
The last Overfinch conversion of that model from 2012 with the BMW engine and ZFauto.
The most reliable of motors, after the wankel R8 of course.
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I am considering additional lines of work to fund this. Keep the suggestions coming on this rainy Bank Holiday weekend.
Timing is bad. Had I taken up those suggestions earlier I could have made some money at Greenfields which I can hear droning away in the background!
Beauty.
What’s the most Cheshire option the previous owner specced?
Petrol or derv?
Errrr…tdv8? 
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She is not a footballer and not Mums taxi so black/ivory leather seating, an ivory headlining and black leather everywhere else. No bling inside or outside.
As subtle as a large engineering grey housebrick.
45p per mile allowance isn’t going to go far is it?
What have I done?
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Early LPG conversion? 
Does it have a slide out gun rack with lots of guns? 
I look forward to you driving the VW roller skate when this spends weeks in the garage. Does it come with some pumping choons ?
Wrong! I don’t do tractor fuel.
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I quite like Rangies, but some of the “bespoke” ones are fucking hideous.
Overfinch seem to be the best though. If it had been a Kahn, Fantom or Revere, you should have been ashamed of yourself and nominated yourself for a proper cockpunching.