The all-new shiny cockpunch thread (Part 2)

Specsavers (via the NHS) !

Had an Audiology appointment today to have aids fitted. I drive the 30 minutes to Thame, park up and sauntered in. Speak to a staff member and was told to “sit over there”.

Receptionist (just somebody with access to a computer) came over to check on those in the waiting area, only to state that there was no record of my appointment. I showed her my phone with the appointment email, and she just shrugged.
So I went full Karen and asked for the manager.
Having showed the head moron the 3 x email reminders, he glibly says, “We can book you in for two weeks from today, will that be alright ?”
No it fucking won’t be alright !!!
No apology. No ownership. Not even an attempt to blame my Doctor or the NHS.
Just complete indifference.

I hate the way the NHS has been part privatised but, in the past, I have experienced some benefits. Not on this occasion !

Fucking up a booking is one thing. No acceptance of responsibility from a manager, given the evidence, is totally unacceptable !

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Pop back and firebomb 'em - they’ll soon start giving a fuck then :ok_hand:

Specsavers is a franchise so he might well be the ‘owner’ !

My branch are good. I’ve known Roxy and Adela (bottom of this page) since the Didcot shop was pretty much just the two of them. They used to sponsor the town’s film club when we had one.

I was messed about by Vision Express in Oxford once (a long time ago - maybe they’re better now ?) and never went back.

Corporate April Fools stuff can die in a hole, especially anything KitKat related.

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I quite enjoyed HiFi Pig’s effort this morning for the scent of an audiophile. Especially the description.

It’d be a huge improvement for most HiFi Show visitors to wear it.

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Distilled from the finest snake oil.

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I had similar with Boots. Booked a hearing test, they said midday but I got an email with 2pm. I assumed I misheard (duh), turned up at 2 and they said it was meant to be at 12.

They did a test anyway, and my hearing is fine. Unlike their IT system.

An obvious candidate I know, but HMRC can have one.

Years ago they told me I didn’t need to submit returns any more so, err, I didn’t.

Then this morning they suddenly pop up and say I need to submit one for 2024-2025. Eh?

Thankfully old nerd-u-like has kept track of everything in a spreadsheet anyway, so cue the world’s fastest tax return answering “no, no, no, no” and surprise, surprise I owe them precisely nothing.

What a waste of time fire drill.

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When I started contracting back in May 2015 HMRC sent me a letter saying I needed to submit self assessment returns for the previous years of 2013/2014 & 2014/2015

A couple of days later I received another letter saying I had fines of around £1200 for late filing. They flatly refused to cancel the fines as “computer says no” Had to file a complaint and then two appeals when they were refused before they finally relented and cancelled them.

To this day I’m still owed £5k for a VAT payment they double dipped by direct debit when they went digital.

Just the mere mention of HMRC now makes my blood boil and triggers me into incandescent rage of absolute fucking loathing.

CUNTS!!!

When I was contracting I didn’t claim to be outside IR35 and used an umbrella company so I was spared direct dealings with them other than the usual personal returns.

The downside was obvs paying a shit-ton of tax :laughing:

I’ve now just had a paper letter despite this email this morning

telling me that they’ve generated a UTR (already had one thanks) for me and a self-assessment record.

At least the UTR really is unique, I’ve checked because I figured that with the level of bungling involved they might have generated a new one.

I don’t know what’s going on - it looks like something in their systems has woken up about me.

Goes without saying that anything involving the US and FIFA is going to be a price gouging cunt show but this is really next level twattery…

Controversially, Fifa has not made free tickets available to the assistants of fans using wheelchairs. Tickets must be bought at full price and they may not be situated next to each other.

The Eye Of Sauron is upon you…

Faced with new energy shock, Europe asks if reviving nuclear is the answer

Yes but you should have been asking this at least 5 years ago you shortsighted fuckwits

Laughs in France.

One of the Clegg/Cameron dumbest moves. Far worse than the student fees u-turn, in fact.

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The name has changed from Lloyds but not much else by the look of it as, guess what? We are back in the same situation again.

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:enraged_face: Rage-of-a-1000-suns… :enraged_face:

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There’s a reason they are all on offer…

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Fuck, I’ll have to claim asylum in Lancashire now.

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We somehow ‘inherited’ some the middle ‘biscuit’ variety. FoL#2 moving house & temporarily dumping the contents of his pantry with us. In the spirit of research I did try one but they were promptly consigned to the bin. Disgusting. What were they thinking of?

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I’m guessing this was one of those scenarios where the marketing guys had a glue sniffing session (actually, most marketing guys probably wouldn’t even need the glue to come up with something this awful) without consulting anyone else, and forced production to do their bidding.

(Except it’s the marketing guys here, not the scientists)

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