The all-new shiny cockpunch thread

Cruella Cunty Braverman (again)

This is a key phrase

He says they will have been wary of the potential reputational damage of being seen as “little more than a taxi service for migrants trying to reach the UK”.

She is fuming that despite putting the Navy in charge they still aren’t turning the boats around and are actually helping the Coastguard and RNLI to rescue them

She wants a nice new agency that will ignore the international rules for SOLAS or SAR and turn the boats back.

Tuesday’s change in operational control follows last month’s announcement that a new small boats operational command (SBOC) would be created to oversee the Channel crossings.

The unit, which brings together military and civilian staff and the National Crime Agency, plans to recruit 730 additional staff and invest in new vessels, drones and cameras to track the crossings and prevent tragedies at sea.

They should just get Serco or Group4 to launch a new service that sort of gently ‘welcomes’ them back to France in a sort of push or drag the boats back kind of way. With added accidental drowning.
People will vote for that.

Take Back Control :joy:

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I would imagine the Royal Navy are glad to be out of it.
It is a bit like when you try and make the Army police a situation, it is not what they were trained for and rarely works out as you might have hoped.

Not French people.

Aye, but them that don’t want them foreigners comin over ere might vote for it.

As they might vote for talking fish or for the sky being a different colour.

They have experience of voting for it. They voted for Theresa May. They voted for Boris Johnson. They were promised it but it wasn’t delivered. Sunak’s even written his promise down. I’d still put a fiver on him failing to deliver it. Is this what we call ‘learning difficulties’ ? If it isn’t then it should be.

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Remember when prison officers went on strike in the 80s,and some bright spark thought it would be a good idea to put the police in. It didn’t go very well.

Fuck you McDonald’s

Not only have you found the most annoying eyebrow wriggling cunts on the face of the earth but worse you’ve used one of the best film tracks ever in your shit advert.

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And fuck you for making me Google the advert to find out what the track is :laughing:

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Go on, put the rest of us out our misery … :pray:.

No. It’s like The Ring only with 80s pop.

You have to watch it to lift the curse from me.

Go on then.

It’s Yello Oh Yeah.

Was that Ferris Bueller?

I’ll ask my niece. She’ll have seen it already.

Oh, hang on. She’s only 27.

Oh no !

It is on the Ferris Bueller tunes list.

The Secret of My Success.

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Ah yes, now I remember the wife still being bitter because as a teenager she’d bought the soundtrack thinking that it would all be like the aforementioned tune.

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Literal schoolgirl error.

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People (mostly Muricans, tbh) who refer to stuff like wallets, phones and bottle openers on key rings as EDC. Fuck off you sad cunts.

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Not heard of this before!

I thought EDC was referring to guns :thinking: