Probably the single most sensible contribution to this thread so far 
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Am not a racist, will not be celebrating. Apart from thatā¦
There had better be some at the supermarket on the way home or Iāll have a conniption fit!
Havenāt had one since about 1998! 
Apologies if I caused offence to you or any meatman partial to a slice of Battenberg. 
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Yep, Iāve got a nostalgic Hanker-on now thanks to you, fucker; and it would be closer to 1978 for me, at my Nanās, Saturday teatime. My grandad loved a bit of BB.
Does it even still exist? 
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Yes, it does still exist- leastways it did last time I checked!
There is gonna be hell to pay if theyāve fucking ran outā¦
It reminds me of birthday parties and other childhood shitā¦
Iām gonna post some fucking pictures laterā¦
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Git.
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I have been called a racist, although I havenāt pissed my pants for a while nowā¦
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Fuckinā casual !
I have NEVER had a battenberger 
I distinctly remember a severe case of the munchies where I consumed a whole Battenburg to myself in a matter of minutes.
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Free plastic toy with every one you buy
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Free plastic billionaire monarch to everyone whether you want one or not. Still have to pay for it either way.
I got triggered as I associate both Kipling and Battenberg (wannabe Mountbatten) to India/British Indies.
Apart from being not too to well educated in literature, it was more a Battenberg thingy as this is a monarchy thread.
Thinking of it, those people with the ānot my kingā placards are right.
As I live in Germany, I guess heās more āmy kingā, since heās from the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha.
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Can be yours for 32 large:
Mrs Rednoses watches the coronation, youngest comes into the living room.
āItās a bit pompousā, I said.
āItās a waste of tax payerās moneyā, she replied.
She just turned 15 last week. 
(Might belong in the proud dad section.)
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Coronation pft, my mother used to crown me everytime i misbehaved. I didnāt have a procession either to celebrate my crowning, usually a sore head and arse.
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Watching the various crown servants, state institutions, and British tradition on display is genuinely moving.
The whole world will be reporting this and I suspect they will be envious of the professionalism and dedication on display.
Whatever you think of the royal family, this is about the Crown institution and all those that work hard behind the scenes.
I would prefer that to some shambolic vote for a power grabbing president. Nothing is perfect, but throwing away history and tradition is not always the best option.
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