Yet another thread for the purposes of awarding a cockpunch


How’s he even got/had that kind of coin? He rode a fucking push bike for christ sake!!!


Well fuck Shell. They spend a fortune on a new garage - the biggest in St Albans, just off the M25.

Firstly it’s a waste of money - they totally rebuild an entirely adequate shop, replacing it with one that is basically the same size. What was the point? I suppose it’s absurd to criticise an oil company for its carbon footprint…

Secondly they totally fuck up the routes, so people are driving in all directions. How hard is this? They have set it up so that some pumps are approached from one direction and some the other, but you only see this very late. Idiots.

Finally, and most egregious of all, they didn’t install pay at pump. There’s a sign encouraging you to pay by phone - so you have to get back into your car, download an app and presumably re-authorise your card details into a new app. Or you can go into the shop where you discover a massive fucking queue.

Fuck you with a hard one to the nads.


I always thought you were not allowed to use mobiles on filling station forecourts?


Yep, that’s why they tell you to get back into your car to do it. Explosive batteries and petrol, hmm


That wasn’t the reason, it was the microswitches in the pumps and mobile phones could fuck with them and the pumps could give fase readings.


All Shell petrol stations are overpriced and sell hot food that’s so diabolical you could be forgiven for thinking you’re in the US.



Who buys hot food from a petrol station ? If you do, you get what you deserve :roll_eyes:


No one with a brain.

Shell’s is the pits, ours has hotdogs rolling round in a glass cabinet oven thing, fuck that.


This one now has a Waitrose Mini or some such cack


The bp near my work has an M&S inside, fuckers do a load of shopping and pay at a till desiged for news papers, fags and petrol. Having to watch the cashier pack a basket of food into bags that don’t fit on the counter is excruciating.

I use Tesco for fuel, pay at pump ftw.




I fucking hate this, there is a new BP near me with an M&S, so fucking annoying when you’re waiting for the cunt in front of you who fills up the car and then spends 15 minutes looking around the M&S section.


Full cunt status only achieved when i pull up at a pump, don’t fill up with diesel and then spend 15 minutes looking around only to come out with a hard boiled egg,:grinning:


Jim is to blame for every Shell atrocity.


urban myth :face_with_raised_eyebrow:


Tell that to Samsung!


My local shell has a Costa machine, so yes.


No it’s not at all about batteries as the myth well predates all of that, there has never been a real (NOT as reported in the Daily Fail) of a mobile causing a fuel explosion.

It is all about people who mix up different part of the electromagnetic spectrum due to lack of any scientific knowledge and who confuse microwaves with ionizing radiation

Hence much fretting at local school some years ago about a mobile tower placed >200m from the local infants school cooking the brains of their precious little darlings.

My question back; so I assume you don’t have a microwave oven in your house for the same reason. Cue blank stares.


Have got sufficient shielding to have unmeasurable output outside the case. Testers normally check the meter with a mobile…